MY MOTHER AT 66

By Kamala Das

INTRODUCTION

“My Mother as Sixty Six” is one of the most relatable poems ever written by Kamala Das. All of us know that death cannot be escaped. We know this theoretically, but we choose to ignore this fact on a day to day basis in order to be able to live our lives peacefully. However, this thought does suddenly occur to us from time to time. And at such times, we become filled with sadness and pain. However, we also know that others do not like to be reminded of the brevity of life either. That is why we hide our pain and try to assure others that nothing of the sort will happen. No matter how hard we try, we cannot suppress the fear entirely, but must choose again and again to smile through the pain.

SUMMARY

The poet’s visit to her old mother has come to an end and she has to go back; so she is going to Cochin in a car to take a flight home from there. Her sixty-six year old mother accompanies her to the airport.
On the way, the old woman dozes off and the poet looks at her intensely and sorrowfully. The mother’s pale and loosely open mouth looks as lifeless as a dead body. It has a clear expression of pain and suffering.

Unable to gaze at her mother’s deathly pale face for long, the poet unwarily looks out of the car window and finds young trees whizzing past her and young children rushing out in knots to the open to play. This sight makes her think about old age and the inescapable decay of human life, particularly her mother’s. The uncanny fear about her mother’s physical decay and imminent death upsets and grieves the poet.

When she reaches the airport and the security check is done, she once again glances at her mother’s pale and colourless face which resembles the winter’s moon for it is foggy and misty, ready to wither away any moment. The narrator’s childhood fears of leaving her mother alone and unattended haunts her once again. Her apprehension, that she may not be there for long, grips her mind, but still she cannot discontinue her journey. Even her words ‘see you soon’ seem ironical to her for she is not sure how soon she would be able to see her and also if the mother would be alive for that long.

However, she hides all her worries and anxieties behind a long and sweet, though hollow smile and bids her mother a cheerful send off, with a hopeless assurance of meeting her again soon.

THEME

The poem is a reflection on the complex subtleties of human relationship. It is also a poignant expression of the fear of losing our near and dear ones. The poem also brings out the poet’s views on inescapable ageing, decay and the ultimate end. She realizes how much her mother and she herself have aged when she looks at the “young trees sprinting” and “merry children spelling out of their homes”. Although, she is painfully aware that her old mother a very lonely and does not have long to live, she finds it hard to confront and accept the idea and wishes against all hope, to see her mother soon and bids her goodbye with a hollow smile. Her smile is reflection of her inner guilt for she cannot be by her mother’s side.

LITERARY DEVICES

Simile:

1. face ashen like that of a corpse: mother’s face greyish and pale, colours associated with sick and dead body.

2. as a late winter’s moon: mother’s face symbolises her very frail health and fast approaching death.

Metaphor:

1. Trees sprinting: trees compared with an athlete.

2. Children spilling: children described as if they were some liquid.

Personification: Trees sprinting

Anaphora: smile and smile and smile

Alliteration: my mother, / see you soon

Repetition:

1. smile and smile and smile: Repetition indicates the rather long, hollow and artificial smile the poet had to put on to cheer up her mother and to hid her own worry, anxiety and guilt.

Imagery and symbols:

1. Trees sprinting and merry children: symbolic of youth, vigour, vitality, life and growth

2. Winter’s moon: symbolic of death

A. Answer the following in 30-40 words each.

1. What childhood fears do you think the poet is referring to in the poem?

Ans: The poet refers to the fears of a child has of losing a parent or getting lost somewhere and thus getting separated from them. The poet felt this kind of fear while looking at her mother’s aged and pale face. She was afraid that she might never see her again.

2. What is the kind of pain and ache that the poet feels?

Ans: The emotional pain and ache that the poet feels is due to the realization that her mother has gone old and has become frail and pale like a corpse. She is dependent on her children. The ache also refers to the old familiar ache of the childhood that revisits the poet due to the mother’s old age and her approaching end.

3. Why are the young trees described as sprinting?

Ans: The young trees are personified in the poem. They seem to be running in the opposite direction when seen through the window of the moving car. The movement is juxtaposed with the expression on the mother’s face i.e. ashen like a corpse. The movement of the children and the trees is in stark contrast with the stillness associated with the mother.

4. Why has the poet bought in the image of the merry children ‘spilling out of their homes’?

Ans: The poet highlights the helplessness and frailty of old age with the help of contrasts. The mother dozes off mouth open, whereas the children spilling out of their homes signify movement and energy, enthusiasm and vivacity, which the old people are bereft off.

5. Why has the mother been compared to ‘late winter’s moon’?

The mother has been compared to the late winter’s moon which is dull and shrouded. It symbolizes the ebbing of life. The moon brings to the poets mind night or the approaching end of life. The mother like the late winter’s moon is dull, dim and dismal.

6. What does the poet mean by ‘all I did was smile and smile and smile…’?

Ans: The poet realizes the pain and ache she would get at separating from her mother. It was her childhood fear that she experienced again. She was trying to hide her true emotions by smiling and smiling. The smile here is the forced smile and not the natural one.

7. What do the parting words of the poet and her smile signify?

Ans: The parting words ‘see you soon Amma’ are used by the poet to reassure the mother and to infuse optimism in the poet herself. The poet accepts the reality yet keeps up the façade of smiling in order to put up a brave front. It requires a lot of effort and hence the poet has used the poetic device of repetition.

B. Answer the following in 150 words each.

1. The poem is an emotional account of the poet about her old mother. Discuss.

OR

The poem is concerned with the idea of decay and death. Discuss it.

OR

Discuss the mother-daughter relationship as described in the poem.

Ans: The poem fully justifies in expressing the sensitivity, love, care and emotions of the poet towards her mother. As it is an expression of a great poetess, the poem brings out her emotions with the help of an offbeat theme of decay and death to serve her purpose. It is the greatness of the poet who clearly delineates the tender feelings of this sensitive relationship in the background of the approaching death of her mother.

The poem is set in a car being driven by the poet towards Cochin airport with the mother sitting beside her. Her mother because of her old age has become too frail and has dozed off. Seeing her lifeless and decayed face the poet feels tortured by her old familiar ache of losing her mother. Without expressing in words directly, the poet beautifully conveys her strong desire to remain close to her mother and her helplessness and anxiety in being separated from her.

The poem ends with the best thing the poet could do to her mother in this circumstance. The parting words ‘see you soon Amma’ are used by the poet to reassure the mother and to infuse optimism in the poet herself. The poet accepts the reality yet keeps up the façade of smiling in order to put up a brave front. The poet keeps smiling to hide her true emotions. Three time repetition of ‘smile’ clearly shows that it was forced one; not natural.

Thus, the poem is an intense expression of the tender feelings of mother-daughter relationship.